The high price of independence

That is why military personnel usually do not say ‘war’ but rather ‘work’: “We went out to work”, “We did work”, “We are resting from work”.

Civilians do not have the traumatising experience. And this creates a gap. When they ring you up, and you need to talk about something, and you don’t want to, because Grad or Solntsepiok [Russian multiple rocket launcher and heavy flamethrower systems] were bombarding you. And this is a dead end. There is a long road to understanding that requires tact towards the military.

In fact, war is not a constant battle, but it is a constant possibility to die. There are many roles in war. There is infantry, there are assault units – they are generally some kind of heroes. There is artillery standing at a distance, but counter-battery activities are carried out against them: drones, enemy guns, everything else. And there is also a huge service staff. The commander of a stabilisation medical centre may never have heard a volley of automatic gunfire in contact combat in his or her life, but s/he has got an eyeful of torn-off arms, legs and disintegrated viscera. In addition, logistics is in place. If you’re in an active combat zone, you won’t necessarily be in close combat, but there is always a risk of dying. And it is much higher than in Kyiv, Dnipro or Odesa.

Regretfully, Western analysts and experts have not read Ukrainian fairy tales. Joseph Campbell wrote a very important book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. This is a great anthropological study, and its essence is that communities act the way the heroes do in their myths. One of the core myths for a Ukrainian boy is the tale about Kotyhoroshko. A Ukrainian boy, when he becomes a man, acts like Kotyhoroshko.

Why does Kotyhoroshko become a hero? The serpent, that is, the external enemy, kidnaps his brothers and sisters. He has never seen them, he does not know them, and he asks his parents, “Where are my brothers and sisters?” They say to him, “The serpent stole”. Kotyhoroshko says, “Then we must go and liberate them”. They immediately tell him, “You will die”. And he says, “For native blood, one’s own life is not a pity”. He states this at the very beginning. That is, we have the core Ukrainian fairy tale for a boy, which says that if you are not afraid to take risks, if you act not for the sake of wealth, but for the sake of relatives, the inner circle, children, for the sake of your people, your community, if you improve your weapons, if you keep a team together, if you are self-sacrificing for your fellows, everything is going to be fine with you.

At first, there was an expectation that Ukrainian men would storm border crossings with the EU: Shehyni, Medika, Krakovets. But ‘no’: moustaches are being twisted and equipment is being assembled from improvised materials. Yes, this is a large, horrendous war. And the provision of weapons by the allies plays a big role in it. But a significant part of Ukrainian men and women said that straight away: Everything that is happening is not OK. Our parents didn’t teach us fairy tales in which I would have to run away or give up. That is not an option for us. Are there HIMARSes? We will hit them with HIMARSes. Are there F-16s? We will beat them with that. No? We will act like those heroes in Kherson, who were simply shot dead. [On 1 March 2022, in Buzkovo Park in Kherson, Russian hardware was met by local territorial defence, most of whom died]. These are people who came out to defend their land and relatives. They didn’t have any Javelins, nothing like that. They were simply killed, but there was no other course of action for them, they did not consider escaping as an option.

Russia is an empire that does not know how to act in any other way and rejoices in being an empire. An empire can turn into a democracy, like France, Spain, Belgium, Britain: there live people who have drawn conclusions and do not replicate the colonial past. Russians do not do that.

The West does not realise that Russia must either be reined in, demilitarised, denuclearised, or it will remain an empire as it is. The world still does not understand that this is one of the most terrible empires, which does not see itself otherwise.

What is victory for me? We want Ukrainian troops to reach the borders of 1991. The second thing is the serious efforts of partner countries to demilitarise Russia. Building up a capable Ukrainian army. And building up a democracy capable of normal governance.

The price of victory is dreadful. Those who pay it, pay it at the price of their health, lost years, lost people from their inner circle – they must be made co-owners of victory by all possible means. If this does not happen, the question will arise, “What did we fight for?” If people do not co-own the space of their community in a local sense and the country in a large one, this will be no victory.

War is very different for different military branches. There is no generalisation here. I know what my part of the war looks like, specifically for the artillery reconnaissance where we work. For us, war – and this was a revelation for many people who joined me as volunteers – is a lot of procrastination, a lot of waiting. For example, you were flying a reconnaissance drone, it was shot down, and you are waiting for a new one to arrive. During this time, you are performing some duties, you are just doing something. It is very difficult to maintain motivation at this moment, especially for charged people. Working at some hardware is much cooler – when there is danger, when you are even under fire. Yet should something happen to that hardware, then again you have to wait for it to be repaired. At this moment, people’s thoughts already start to gnaw them, “Why did I come here to sit idle for two months?” It gnaws people a lot when qualified personnel stay with no work to do for a long time.

I’ve understood why the army machinery is so bloated. This is because when a part of people is forced to just wait, some other part must continue to perform tasks. The army is a huge machinery that is capable of executing only very simple commands at the strategic level. Our future victory is precisely the art of achieving very complex results with simple commands. But in fact, it is super difficult to come up with a simple way out of a difficult situation.

Everyone understands that the offensive is not launched with no air supremacy, the offensive is not launched with no superiority in military personnel and hardware, the offensive is not launched with no multiple superiority in the amount of ammunition. In our case, all these key points are not in our favour. Further, “Don’t you dare to enter the territory of Russia” and “Don’t you dare to shoot there, because this is an escalation”. It seems to me that one’s ally should not be placed in such a setting and some restrictions should be lifted or a larger number of necessary means should be provided.

Following the Kyiv, Kharkiv and Kherson operations, we gave a reason to think that we are some kind of magicians. That the Ukrainians will come up with some non-standard asymmetric solution and surprise everyone once again. It works once, twice, thrice. But at some point, it won’t work. In the West, they do not understand many technical details of war, because they did not fight in the same format as we are. We communicate a lot with various foreign specialists in the line of duty. Hearing the operational conditions of their hardware, which we directly use, most of them can’t believe this is ever possible.

Strategically, the West still does not understand – the break-up of Russia is a good thing. Everyone is afraid that they will have to talk not with Putin, but with ten ‘Putins’. Although one has to get used to the fact that this will have to be done. And one should not bury one’s head in the sand but prepare for future difficult negotiations with some micro-Putins, five of whom may be disposed well, and five of whom may not.

The West still does not understand that the defeat of Russia is a good thing. That any scenario where Russia saves its face is bad. The Russian Federation may not be left as part of the civilized world whatsoever. Because it turns out that we are turning a blind eye to everything that happened, to this entire genocide and to Ukraine destroyed by 20%. It shouldn’t be like that.

I try not to imagine victory. Because after being in the army for a year and a half, you already want to find yourself in a peaceful life so much that as soon as you start imagining, it becomes even more difficult. But I marked for myself criteria for being calm after victory. There will be no permanent victory without the loss of combat capability of the Russian army. Next is demining – we have heavily mined territories, to which people can’t return. But the most important thing is the permanence of peace. Unless the Russian army loses combat capability, together with the victory there should be some security guarantees, when I understand that I can buy a flat for my family, furnish it and live peacefully. Otherwise, a backpack will need to be kept somewhere at all times, because you may have to go to fight again at any moment.

I cannot imagine victory simply as victory. I need to understand what the security guarantees will be, who will venture to give them. After that, maybe, we will be accepted into NATO very quickly. Or the Russian army will lose combat capability to such an extent that our partners will have some time, which they love to waste so much, to take us into NATO.

I think that after victory, for a few more years, there will be no moment to relax and say, “That’s it, we won”. And one has to be ready for this too – for victory to come gradually.

A military person constantly asks him/herself the question: To whom and why is s/he making this sacrifice? Are they worthy of this sacrifice? Does s/he sacrifice himself for the sake of his/her children, his/her other half, parents? But do they always seek this sacrifice? Are they able to appreciate and accept it? What is the value of a society that is very often stuck on itself and does not see the war beyond itself. What if individual civilians very often devalue you and your sacrifice against the background of war and military fatigue?

It is obvious that military personnel may feel anger, resentment, irritation, disappointment, disorientation because of these demotivating questions. There can be a whole range of emotions. There can be maximum vulnerability.

A military person is also someone who loves to be at war. S/he found him/herself here. His/her inner circle. His/her freedom. His/her speech. S/he received a new recognition, a new status, a new business. New skills and new experience. S/he finally fell in love with guns. S/he fell in love with many things that are perceived as deviation [deviation from the norm] in the civilian world.

It will be difficult for civilians to understand and accept this. And, even more so, to find a way to live with it.

War is a terrible and unpleasant routine. And this is work. Sooner or later, serving one’s country turns into dirty, slow and dangerous work. You start to see it that way. Service in itself is unpleasant not only in the combat zone, but also in the rear, during recovery. Uncomfortable living and service conditions are everywhere, combined with a total lack of life and work freedom. All this is very difficult for free people, especially those who have decided to serve their country.

The further from the combat zone (in Kyiv, Warsaw, Brussels, London, DC), the more military personnel turn into numbers. So-and-so number of troops, so-and-so number of weapons, so-and-so amount of hardware. The further away from the war, the more decision-making about human destinies turns into arithmetic. And that’s the most dreadful thing.

Only when you are around people who suffer from war, who are part of war, only then do you live through it as your own. Then arithmetic turns into the dramatic art. Therefore, I have few expectations from our government and our allies. They do their work the way they feel it.

While I was a member of the National Council of Ukraine on Television and Radio Broadcasting, I had many conversations with top US officials regarding the strategy of supporting Ukrainian media and information policy. My position was that you, Americans, are incorrectly interpreting the situation regarding Russia and Ukraine. You want to turn a Russian ship facing East 180 degrees to the West. You throw all your strength, all your resources at it. At the same time, you use Ukraine as a point of support. Because of this, you spend the least efforts on supporting Ukraine, which is already geared towards the West. And this is an ineffective strategy.

The principle that guides wise people is to help those who ask for help. If you try to help those who don’t ask for it and don’t want it, your efforts are wasted.

Western publicists, politicians and officials do not fully understand this. They still emotionally perceive and experience Russia, and still do not read Ukraine through. Their emotions and their experience of Ukraine are being born only now. The attitude is gradually changing.

Russia, in the form it has existed all these years, is incapable of transformation, incapable of reforms and of changing its essence. She is wounded. She is aggressive and ruthless. She is authoritarian. She is focused only on herself. And she no longer has internal positive forces. Only what will remain of Russia will be able to change into something more humane.

What will be Ukraine’s final victory? War is a real hell. The military personnel, after a long time at war, are infected with hell. Getting rid of this infection will be almost impossible. In addition, many of us whose lives were destroyed by the war and who began to build our lives from scratch in the war will again find themselves with the wreckage. They will have nowhere to return at all.

The only thing that keeps me optimistic about our future is the memory of my great-grandfathers. Both of them fought in World War Two in the ranks of the occupying Red Army. Unlike dozens of their relatives, they survived. And I remember how cordial they were. I still remember them as people who overcame pain, resentment, disappointment, cruelty and anger. And I have great hope that, even after a long time, our society will get out of the war. This will be victory – when we free ourselves from the war in our heads.

What people do not understand war? These are young, athletic guys, very fashionable ones. They look good and directly demonstrate their goodness. They probably don’t understand this war. When you are of draft age, physically healthy and demonstrate this, questions arise for you: My friend, why aren’t you with us? Someone says, “I was not born for war”. And I’m a paediatrician, after all.

Another explanation I have heard is “Let those who already know how to fight do that”. But those who already know how did not know that at some point. When I went to war, I had military knowledge only from the medical military department. And now I am the commander of a platoon, not a medical one, but an assault one. On the first day of the full-scale invasion, I got into a car and drove to Kyiv for the war. Being neither born nor trained for war.

A human-being is not a robot. Even the robot breaks down. For almost two years, we are either at war or on the training ground. And purely physically, a human-being does not just get tired, a human-being burns out. We are swung from one section of the front to another. And we have a huge number of such units that have been fighting since the beginning of the war.

War is, first of all, death. This is what war really is. Our task is to cause the death of the enemy and to do everything to protect the people who are behind us from dying.

At war, you need to hold yourself together as much as possible and try to be cool-headed. That is, war is also self-reflection. You have to agree on some things with yourself. On that when you get into a crisis situation, you won’t droop. Because if you do droop, this is a drawback for you, and a drawback for people who rely on you. And if you are a commander, perish forbid it.

War may be very different. The easiest option: you are on the contact line, which has already settled down. Usually this happens where there is a natural obstacle – a river or canal, something that is quite difficult to cross. There is our shore, there is theirs: no one tries to go to the other shore but everyone tries by all possible means to destroy those on the opposite shore.

There is a tougher version of war. We are an infantry unit. Infantry performs few functions: assault and defence. Both elements are quite difficult and risky when on the contact line where counter battles are underway, in particular, in Bakhmut. There were as many as eight attacks on our positions per day. For a month and a half, we were actively involved in that area. Any assault on our positions was coupled with artillery shelling, and it’s always a lottery: hit or miss. You are shot at with everything on hand: mortars, artillery… The hardest thing which fired at the positions we were working on was Solntsepiok.

The most dramatic element of war is, of course, our assault actions. This almost always brings about losses.

In addition to being shot at with everything on hand, there is also a purely routine thing on top of all this. You are always in discomfort. It is smallest in summer. It’s hot, but at least it’s dry. Mosquitoes, heat, dust. But this is nothing compared to the war of late autumn. And the worst is early spring. When it’s already warm, and then it snows. You go to a position in a trench, which is, in some places, waist-deep in cold water. When you finally reach the forward position, you have to fight in a dugout that is bone-deep in the swamp.

When there is the wounded, your task is to save him/her. Despite being in the swamp. You need to stop the bleeding. And it’s not the same as when you stopped the bleeding and an ambulance arrived: you still have to walk one and a half kilometres with the wounded [to evacuate him/her]. And these one and a half kilometres are the most unforgettable ones in your life. Because as soon as the enemy sees that you are carrying someone off in an organized manner, that is exactly where it starts fire. Actually, that’s where my second injury comes from: we were carrying off the wounded, the enemy saw us from a drone and threw mines right there. While evacuating one wounded, we ended up with 11 [as for now, Oleksandr was wounded for the third time at the front].

And you can’t but carry off, because how can you not carry off your fellow?

The West understands us, after all. It is we that do not understand that there is no other West or other allies for us. The reality is that the very Western aid made it possible for us not to be losing. Yes, for them, it is not a matter of life and death, as it is for us, but there is another layer – that of values. The West is built on specific values: justice, dignity and freedom.

Our war is not a war for interests, but a war for values. In the matter of good and evil, Ukraine undoubtedly embodies good. But the West definitely does not want World War Three. They realise that they are dealing with a monkey who has a grenade. Putin is a real evil and a dictator. And he constantly does everything to make the West afraid.

But the West gets it wrong about Russia: they think that Russians are captive to Putin and that there is an evil ruler who forced the people to become speechless slaves, silent observers of the atrocities being committed by Putin and his army. Yet the atrocities that were committed in Bucha were not done on the orders of Putin. Moreover, it was not Putin who created such Russians, he himself is their flesh and blood. This is a people who are fixated on the concept of ‘grandeur’. Their national idea and ideal ruler are the ‘gatherer of the Russian lands’. If World War Two is ‘never again’ for the West, then for Russians it is ‘we can do it again’.

Russia is a territory of absolute madness, in which human life means nothing. Russians will always be satisfied with the actions of their authorities if they are aimed at ‘grandeur’. Human losses or a loss of comfort do not hook them.

The West lives in the paradigm that now there will be a counteroffensive, Russia will suffer losses and Putin will sit down at the negotiating table. He won’t: Putin will fight as long as he can.

For me, victory means reaching the borders of 1991. Then that will be a victory for international law. The second aspect of victory is security. Victory will come when Ukrainians stop dying from the actions of Russians. And the third aspect is justice. There will be no victory until the last war criminal goes to prison or to long rest.